Love Dependency Test: Obsessive Lover or Independent Partner?
They change the default shipping address on your shared Amazon Prime. You:
Change it back immediately: "Why change without asking? Don't you trust me?" (sensitive confrontation)
Say: "Address change is fine—just let me know before ordering next time." (gentle confirmation)
Text friends: "They changed our shared address—normal?" (social validation)
Indifferent: "Address is trivial—we should adapt to each other flexibly." (autonomous symbiosis)
They plan to go to Coachella with the opposite sex friends without inviting you. You:
Demand to join: "Going to Coachella without me? Trying to flirt?" (control surge)
Say: "Coachella sounds fun—share live videos after!" (trusting support)
Check their ticket history: "Single-day or 3-day? Did they book a hotel?" (detail surveillance)
Plan your own weekend: "I'll visit a museum exhibit—enjoy separately!" (independent parallel)
Noticing they haven't liked your Instagram posts for 3 days. You:
DM: "Why no likes? Are you losing interest?" (social interaction anxiety)
Joke: "Not interesting enough? Need filters to catch your eye?" (playful probing)
Check their likes: "Did they like others' posts? Am I the only one ignored?" (differential comparison)
Indifferent: "Likes are just clicks—our daily calls matter more." (de-symbolized cognition)
They say "need 24 hours to cool off" after a fight. You:
Text every hour: "Cooled down? Let's talk." (separation anxiety)
Reply: "Okay, wait till you're ready—but don't make me wait too long." (moderate waiting)
Ask their roommate: "How's their mood today? Did they mention me?" (third-party intel)
Use the time for yourself: "Perfect for my painting—see you in 24h." (self-fulfillment)
They forget your 100-day anniversary. You:
Cry: "Forgetting anniversary means you don't love me!" (catastrophic thinking)
Say: "Forgotten anniversary is okay—make up tonight with your favorite burgers." (flexible remedy)
Check their notes: "Did they save other dates, like ex's birthday?" (memory comparison)
Believe "anniversaries are just numbers": "Happy together—every day is special." (de-ritualization)
They miss your 1 AM FaceTime while you're both on business trips. You:
Call 5x till answered: "Why no answer? Who are you with?" (nighttime anxiety)
Text: "Probably asleep—reply when you see this, love you." (trusting delay)
Check their flight status: "Did they arrive early? Lying about sleep?" (itinerary verification)
Rationalize: "Jet-lagged—missed call is normal. Talk tomorrow." (rational attribution)
Finding photos with the opposite sex coworkers in their phone album. You:
Demand deletion: "What's with the opposite sex photos? Delete now!" (possessive outburst)
Joke: "Cute coworker—introduce me?" (easy acceptance)
Ask friends: "Are they close with this coworker? Any gossip?" (social snooping)
See as "normal social record": "Work photos are fine—I have the opposite sex friends' pics too." (equal cognition)
They say, "Want to hike alone in the mountains this weekend." You:
Insist on joining: "Alone hiking is dangerous—I must protect you." (overprotection)
Say: "Stay safe—send a summit photo!" (support for independence)
Demand live location: "No location sharing, no peace of mind. Check in hourly." (safety control)
Plan your own solo activity: "I joined a pottery workshop—recharge separately!" (autonomous parallel)
Their recent Netflix shows include Love Island, which you hate. You:
Cancel sharing: "Hating this show means we're incompatible!" (interest opposition)
Say: "You watch Love Island, I'll use bedroom TV for Black Mirror—no interference." (space division)
Check viewing history: "10 episodes? Imitating dating tactics?" (content suspicion)
Indifferent: "Everyone has solo preferences—no need for sync." (pluralistic tolerance)
Describe your dependency style with a Western TV/movie trope:
A. Fifty Shades of Grey "Control & obedience" (strong dependency)
B. When Harry Met Sally "Independent but connected" (healthy symbiosis)
C. The Social Network "Data-driven emotional monitoring" (surveillance dependency)
D. Before Sunrise "Independent souls' accidental resonance" (absolute independence)
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